The Beginning Of The End
by CryDon'tSmile
Summary: Allen Walker- less commonly known as ELLEN Walker- the young Exorcist from the Black Order, who also happens to be the Fourteenth Noah. Nearly dead and alone in a forest, but not as alone as she first thought. Who would've thought that the man to save her would also be her enemy? Fem!Allen, Poker Pair, Noah!Allen.
1. Chapter 1: This Is The Beginning

**This is my version of In The End You Are My Beginning, which has been discontinued. This mostly follows the plot-line of that story, so... Yea.**

 **I should calm down with the Fem!Allen Poker Pairs...**

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 **The Beginning Of The End**

 ** _Chapter 1: This Is The Beginning_**

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Allen Walker- less commonly known as _Ellen_ Walker- was the young, white-haired Exorcist from the European Branch of the Black Order. Considered the cursed girl… or- the label more frequently used- _boy_ , taking into account that it depended on who exactly you were talking to. Yes, although formally known as Ellen, a female name, many of the others at the Order believed that really she was a boy, and instead called her Allen. A few select beings and people knew who she really was, what gender she really was, but she tried to keep it as reserved as possible. Not easy, but possible.

Yes, people knew. Obviously Mana knew, before he… well, before the incident. Cross knew, since he was her Master and all that, and had to live with her really. She tried to avoid any of those topics for as long as possible, but it was rather difficult, and he'd known for a long time before ever asking her. She'd tried to deny it, but there really was no point. After Cross and Mana was Timcampy, and there was no way she could keep it hidden from her Master's golden golem. Lavi knew, but that was only because he was Bookman, and it was impossible for him not to pick up on all of the female attributes of the curse-eyed Exorcist, and he had confronted Ellen and asked her in the exact same way as Cross had, and knowing the whole routine by now she just went along with it and spilled the truth. And then… Lenalee knew, and the Chinese girl had begged for a long time for Allen to just let the secret go and relieve the pressure on herself to keep the secret in place and keep everything in place, but- along with some help from Lavi- Allen always managed to persuade her to keep her trap shut and not let anybody know.

There was good reason behind her keeping this secret throughout so much, holding onto it with all she had. Even in death, there was no way she would just _admit_ that she had been lying to whole time, lose all that trust she had been forced to slowly gain with the friends she still struggled to come clean with. It was hard to trust a whole association that had forced her away from her old life and forced her to train with her master, and then next second being forced to search for the drunken womaniser that had caused her so much pain. She didn't understand how he charmed women like he had Miss Anita, but somehow he did- although Allen simple found him completely repulsive. She was disappointed when he turned up on the Ark to save them from Tyki Mikk's awakened form, she had hoped that maybe the bastard had finally died and left her in peace. But of course she was wrong. Of course.

Of course she had to be a little grateful. After all, he had saved her and her friends from dying, but she hadn't appreciated the scare he had given her and the way he threw her as though she were nothing more than a doll.

Heavily panting, the young woman stumbled from the trees, face flushed and beads of sweat rolling down her pale skin. She had killed as many of the Akuma as she could before they had headed somewhere else, probably called away by one of the Noah or the Millennium Earl. Her black, parasitic arm reverting from Crown Clown and back to how it usually was, a normal looking appendage other than its color and patterns. With shuffling, exhausted steps she kept moving away from the area, attempting to get as much distance between her and where the Akuma had been as quickly as possible, just in case they decided it would be a good idea to return and possibly kill her.

She wasn't sure how she had been so exhausted that her eye hadn't noticed the Level Three hiding in the thick, expansive bushes behind her, but it didn't activate and didn't give her any warning as to what was happening. She barely had time to whirl around and begin to activate her arm when it was right _there,_ clutching her waist with a bone breaking grip, the sharp claws of its arm tearing straight through her Exorcist uniform with practised ease and parting her skin and flesh easily, blood pouring form the wounds in a vain attempt to heal her.

She swore mentally although her restraint still strong enough to keep the foul words from leaving her mouth, cringing as the claws dug deeper, head tipping back as a harsh cry was torn from her pale lips. The cry was choked off halfway when the abomination threw her from where it was standing, giving pursuit like some kind of sick animal toying with the prey it had. With a pained, aggrieved whimper she tumbled across the rough terrain, rolling over rocks and hard dirt, all the while trying to dig her elbows into the ground to force her into coming to a holt. All that did her was end her up with skinned elbows as well as a mangled and gushing side. When she finally stopped she forced herself up onto her feet, legs shaky but still maintaining her weight rather well. Her innocence finally responded to the call she had been screaming in her head the whole time she had been tumbling, the fingers of her left hand becoming long and clawed, a white cloak falling over her shoulders and wrapping her in comfort.

With a yell of anger she threw herself straight at the Akuma, shooting out the white ribbons of her innocence and slashing them downward rhythmically, just like a dance. For that was all fighting was; a very violent and bloody dance, whoever had more rhythm and strength behind their movements being deemed the winner. The white lengths cut into its side just like its claws had cut into hers, and with an angry scowl and flashing eyes she kept forcing them into the body of the demon, eventually cleaving it straight in half. She let out a heavy and shaky breath as it crumbled, bursting into dust and ash, freeing the soul within. With a painful breath of air she collapsed against a tree, her left limb once again becoming her black arm and the cloak disappearing. Sliding down she crouched at the base, white hair falling to cover her pain-filled eyes as she clutched her side tightly, blood soaking and staining her skin and clothes from wherever it touched. She whimpered as she pressed her arm and fingers more tightly against it, not sure to the extent of her injuries but knowing that they were quite possibly fatal to her. Dammit… She gritted her teeth, tears burning in dimming silver eyes at the pain that flashed through her side like the burn of fire and shock of lightning combined, every heartbeat that throbbed through it only bringing more blood to gush out. This blood loss would surely kill her…

 _I can't die like this!_

It was compulsory to her to force back the sob that threatened to burst from between her clenched teeth, tightening her arm until it felt as though she were trying to crush the gaping wound back into her skin, close it by means that she knew wouldn't work. A puddle of glistening blood grew underneath her, staining the once green grass a deep, sinful red, the liquid glimmering as though it were attempting to become a ruby caught in the light. Ellen couldn't help but wish that the Finder that was travelling with her was around, maybe even her goddamn watch-dog, Link; but neither were here. Link… well, she'd run away from him- she'd had a lot of practise running from people after all- and her Finder… He was shot by an Akuma bullet; she could do nothing for him. And soon she would end up just like him.

Dead. Deceased. Lifeless. _Gone…_

But… As she thought more and more, about everything that was happening to her and all of the problems she had faced, the thing she had most wanted for so long…

 _Maybe I do want to die…_

Her head snapped up abruptly at the sound of steady footsteps, eyes wide in discomfort and agony as she scanned the darkness as best she could with the moon blotted out by the thick canopy of foliage overhead. Her white hair parted to brush over her cheeks and forehead, leaving her eyes in full view, the pain showing to anyone who could see her. How weak she felt, her limbs growing heavier with every achingly stretched instant that was forced to pass by her, face draining of color as all of the blood within her rushed to try and fix the unfixable. She couldn't move anymore, and a pounding had begun in her head- but mainly her brow. Whether it was just her imagination or a side-effect of her injuries and loss of blood she wasn't sure.

Finally a figure stepped from the darkness, and Ellen huffed in impatience despite the existing circumstances. Her silver eyes met predatory gold, and there was no way- even in the deepest pits of death and hell- that she could mistake the man before her for anybody else. The man who had taken her arm, the man who had tried to kill her with his Tease, the man who had become a monster on the Ark.

The only other to know who _she_ really was.

Tyki Mikk.

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 **So, I have nothing really to say other than the original story is on KillerAkuma's profile and will stay there, but have nothing added to it. And yes, of course I have permission, because I was the co-writer for that story so it technically belongs to me too. If you have the time take a look at Mine From The Start and This Secret Of Ours, which are both on my profile and are both Fem!Allen Poker Pairs. Also take a look at KillerAkuma's profile, as she writes D. Gray-Man too. **

**Please review, follow and favorite? It would mean heaps to me, of course. I enjoy seeing the numbers rise, and I enjoy knowing that maybe my writing is worth something to someone other than me. All is appreciated.**

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 **Bye-Bye~**

 **CryDon'tSmile**


	2. Chapter 2: Tyki Mikk

**Sorry for the wait; here's chapter 2.**

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 **The Beginning Of The End**

 _ **Chapter 2: Tyki Mikk**_

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Ellen stared into the eyes of the man before her, the glowing gold holding little comfort or sympathy while seeing her bleed to death on the ground, lying in a puddle of her own blood. How heartless… Though, what else could she expect? That's how he was, after all. He never held a sliver or flake of kindness towards her or the other Exorcists in his darkened heart, considering he even _had_ a heart that hadn't long ago stopped beating from the ice and darkness that invaded it. A rancorous laugh left her lips in fake mirth, eyes narrowed with cold hatred that came naturally to her, unwary as to whether it had reason behind it or not. "Here to see me die, huh? Lovely, Mikk. _Lovely_."

"I never intended your death," he spoke calmly, his smooth baritone even and almost pacifying. His smouldering eyes examined the immediate area with light curiosity, and after finding nothing- not even the Akuma he knew inflicted this damage- he looked back to the girl, feeling a slight sense of pity and guilt well in his chest at seeing her in a slick of her own blood, her side obviously slashed open and the pale skin tattered and stained a deadly cherry red. "I'm trusting you destroyed the Akuma, then?"

"Of course…" Because that was what she did, right? She killed the demons because that was what the Order asked of her. A heavy feeling of guilt and hatred washed over her, all because of how _stupid_ this all seemed, how _stupid_ this war was. She wasn't even supposed to be a part of it, if only she hadn't been born with this arm, and maybe if she'd gotten away quickly enough when they'd dragged her to the Order to be an Exorcist, uncaring to the fact that it wasn't her desire to do so. The abhorrence she felt toward this man, the Third Child of Noah, it wasn't based on anything. Maybe it was linked to the obliteration of her arm, the times he had attempted to kill her, but she still knew him as a miner, a human… If things hadn't had worked out like they did, then possibly they would've been… well, friends. Sure, he would technically be trying to kill her if she were human, but she wouldn't know that. She'd enjoyed the poker they played together, she'd enjoyed knowing him as a human rather than a Noah, a friend rather than an enemy. Even back on the Ark she'd tried to salvage him, remove the Noah within and make him human once again.

That plan had been completely botched when his full Noah emerged from the darkness within.

She let out a strangled cough, the pain cruelly dragging her away from her thoughts and memories and instead bringing her to the present, back to what was truly happening. A little smile brought itself forth on her lips, just the hilarity and absurdity of everything making her want to laugh. As her smile stretched wider tears welled in her eyes, emotions conflicting and swirling within her, a laugh erupting from her lips as she cried, downright contradicting everything but at the same time going along with it. She could feel her eyelids growing heavy, threatening to close and with it expunge the world from her vision for the rest of eternity. "F-Forget this," she muttered, so tranquilly and inaudibly that Tyki was forced to strain is hearing to catch her words, crouching a little so he could properly hear.

"Forget what?" he probed, cautiously interrogating the girl for more information, a better use of words than she had just given him. He hated guessing and figuring things out if there was an easier way to unmask the truth. And perceptibly just asking the girl who had spoken was the most uncomplicated option.

"All… of it." Allen smiled somewhat courteously up at him, tears still staining her cheeks and welling in the corners of her mercury orbs, covering her eyes with a glossy lustre. "Because… w-what's the point of th… thi-is war to you? To me… it's n-nothing." A notion struck her then, somewhat of an epiphany as she raised her clean left hand, knowing full well that this could give him a chance to one again try and take it from her, crush and mangle it until it was forever gone. But did that matter to her? No. She was dying. The most he could do now was get it over with earlier, so she didn't have to suffer and think within her own blood any longer. She smiled again, letting out a strained laugh as she acted as though they were nothing more than people who could become friends, people who had just met. "I-I'm… Ellen Walker," she cut herself off there to cough violently, before continuing with a forced and jovial tone; _optimistic to the end_ , as Tyki had said himself. "You… are?"

Tyki caught her drift and looked down at her pitifully, knowing it really had to be a terribly dire situation for her to resort to a measure like this, to not care if her left arm was torn from her at this very moment. He crouched so it wasn't too much exertion for the girl to lift her arm, seeing that she was already struggling to smile and make her words sound cheerful. He took her hand in his and held it firmly, gazing straight into her dim and distant silver eyes. "Tyki Mikk." At the look of her eyes growing less life-like and her skin becoming ghostly pale he cringed inwardly, mind immediately flying to the scenario of never having Allen around, losing…

His eyes widened suddenly at the feeling within, a bond… Yes, he'd had a sort of… _thing_ going for the girl, but this was different. It was energy, darkness, a pulse of power that signified something very, _very_ important. It was just like when she had saved the Ark with the Musician's room, the melody she had sang so very important to all of them, especially the Earl. That was what told him he couldn't let her slip away like this, because those damn binding spells… She would not awaken and be saved, she would die.

The Fourteenth… How had he not noticed this earlier? How had he not noticed the struggle of power within her, the Dark Matter- the Fourteenth Noah- attempting to surface and make her one of them? He drowned within his thoughts, feeling so daft that he hadn't realized something so simple any sooner. He would've stayed that way- crouching next to the Exorcist with eyes narrowed as he was pulled deep into thought- for a long time if the hand in his hadn't fallen limp, the girl murmuring a sentence before allowing herself to close her eyes.

"I wanted to say… goodbye…"

Tyki shook his head with an infuriated scowl, pulling his hand away from hers and instead slipping his arms under her, successfully soaking them in deep red blood. He straightened his back and stood properly, bringing Ellen with him and cradling her to his chest as though she were nothing but a small child, treating her as though she were made of thin, extremely fragile porcelain, which her colorless skin could be compared to. He could tell she was long out of consciousness, but her rapid, shallow breathing and the soft feel of a fluttering heart pounding under her skin confirmed that she was still alive. He tried telling himself he was only saving her because she was the Fourteenth, and it was what the Earl would've asked of him, but really he knew that even if she was only a plain, average Exorcist he still would have attempted to keep her alive. He wanted her there, he didn't want to know what it would be like without her ever being there again. It was _wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong._

 _Dammit, you're not dying now. Not after all those times you lived through the impossible._

With a quick glance sent towards something white in the corner of his eye- which turned out to be a piece of paper on the ground where Allen had been, the blood slowly seeping into it and staining it a burgundy that he'd seen a million times before- he hurried through the heart-shaped doors that rose before him, debating on what exactly to do when he appeared in his room. He could go and see the Earl, because surely… No, he'd wasted enough time just getting here, talking to her and watching her rather than doing anything. If he was going to keep her alive he had to do something to stop the bleeding and close the wound. Stitches seemed a good option and he _could_ stitch something together rather averagely, but it still worked to close a wound. He hesitated for just a second before laying the girl down on the bed, quickly brushing a hand over her cold forehead and throwing open the door to his bathroom, seizing one of the smaller towels and filling a bowl with lukewarm water. With a steady hand to keep from letting the water slosh over the edges of the bowl he sat on the edge of the bed next to her, noting with some dissatisfaction that he had gotten blood on him, and it was beginning to dry into and create a discoloration in his clothes, tinting them a shade darker and- where there was white- dying it crimson.

He carefully placed the bowl and towel on the little table beside his large bed, lifting Ellen's trembling upper body to get the coat off, uncaring as he tugged at the fabric and the seams tore, letting it fall to pieces around her unconscious figure. There was no real need to remove the shirt, for the Akuma had torn it to shreds around the bottom and pretty much destroyed any use for the shredded piece of fabric. Moving the tatters aside he let out a sharp exhale at the severity of the wounds. Three abysmal, gaping gashes, blood still leaking from them and staining the entirety of her right side, even the tight cloth that was bound around her chest was becoming stained with blotches of the coppery-smelling liquid. A sharp metallic smell hit his nose only seconds after, reeking of the blood that no doubt stained her right leg, as the deep color seeped all the way over her hip and was soaking into the waistband of her pants. "God, Allen… what do you get yourself into?"

He mentally called an Akuma to his room and told it to bring the needle and thread he needed for stitches, preferring to stay by Allen to keep an eye on it while the demon got the supplies he needed. After a moment of gently checking the depth and horror of the wounds he sighed, rising and swiftly hurrying to the door, haste held in every step he took. He opened the door and got out before quickly closing it behind him, limiting the Akuma the ability to see what was in his room. The maid looked up at him respectively, holding out what Tyki had asked for in her grey hands. He swiped it from her hands and turned, uttering something not even he could make sense of as he entered and once again slammed the door behind him, palming the needle. Rushing over to Allen again his brow furrowed, hauntingly gold eyes filling with concern. Even though she had no sense of what was happening around her the expression on her sleeping face was one of pain and disturbance, her breaths only coming to her in shallow gasps, and Tyki could tell just from the look of it that the amount of oxygen she was inhaling was a lot less than what she needed to satisfy the very essentials of living.

Rapidly but tenderly he dipped the towel in the water, wringing in out before wiping it over the lesions and the skin around it, taking away lines of blood and revealing the white underneath. Line by line he cleared the skin of blood, leaving the parts of skin he couldn't get to or didn't have time to do- such as her leg- in his hurry to close the tears and help heal the mangled skin and flesh. That Akuma sure could do some damage… no wonder they were such perilous weapons, monstrosities with the incentive to kill. He left the probably forever stained towel in the murky, red-clouded water, opening his hand to reveal the needle, which- thank the Akuma- was already threaded and ready. A single glance at the agony shown on poor Ellen's face and he slowly began to suture the skin back together, the thread holding it together and preventing any more of the blood that rushed to departure from her body from leaving at all. A short while later and all three were completely closed and the blood stopped, and with another quick swipe of the damp towel the small amount of blood that had leaked from the cuts was removed from her skin.

Leaning forward Tyki placed is fingers just over Ellen's collarbone, feeling the faint, barely evident pulse as blood rushed through at an incredible rate, now flooding through her whole body rather than just leaving the now closed lacerations on her side. She was alive, she hadn't died.

He had managed to save the Fourteenth.

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 **Well that just happened...**

 **So anyways, because I have nothing to tell really I'm just gonna go with please review, follow and favorite if you like the story or if you haven't already, I'm not forcing you to I'm... _persuading._ Also, if you haven't already, maybe you could go take a look at Mine From The Start and This Secret Of Ours, which are both PokerPair's written by me. You can find them on my profile.**

 **Bye-Bye~**

 **CryDon'tSmile**


	3. HIATUS

**Hey guys.**

 **Yeah, sorry about this, but this story will be on hiatus for a little while. I just can't seem to find the will to write it. I'll try and keep going as soon as I can for you... Eh...**

 **CryDon'tSmile**


	4. Author's Note: I am super sorry

**I am so, so sorry.**

I know I haven't updated my stories in forever. **I know.** And trust me, the feeling kinda sucks. I am trying **really** hard to get another chapter out, but I may have to put this story - and all of them, to be honest - on hiatus. I will be posting a next chapter for _Mine From The Start: The Rewrite_ and _This Secret of Ours: The Rewrite_ , hopefully soon, as I've gotten quite a bit done on them already. Other stories? I'm working on it, okay?

I'm gonna admit, I have been seriously doubting my writing for a little while now, and it won't pass for some reason.

But that isn't going to stop me. My main reason for hiatus is to focus a little more on my art, and to plot out some stuff for all of my stories as well as a manga I wish to work on. **I promise** I will update. **I promise.**

 **But you're going to have to understand that it might take a while.**

So, until I can next update, I guess.

CryDon'tSmile


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